How Rene Schoof Almost Torpedoed the World’s Chance for Peace

By Johanne Stewart

Every country has its heroes and black sheep, but Rene Schoof and his crew were a whole new breed. They attracted trouble like a flame drawing moths, and their monumental series of ill-conceived blunders almost destroyed the world’s chance for lasting peace. When Schoof was given command of a brand new destroyer-class ship, the future was his for the taking. He dreamed of performing heroically on dangerous missions and leading the country to great victories. Unfortunately, such dreams would not come to pass. As the new ship slipped out of port, Schoof realized he had forgotten that all the anchors needed to be pulled up and ...

Claustrogasmic Episode! Rene Schoof Gets PTSD After Cramming into an Elevator Full of Cheerleaders By Wolf Blitzburg

Rene Schoof had a life-altering experience when he squeezed into a lift already full of cheerleaders.

Idiota con el Movil! Spanish Authorities Furious With Rene Schoof For Taking Selfie With Bulls By Ted Bopple

“Idiot With Mobile” – That’s what furious Spanish authorities are calling Rene Schoof after he stopped in front of a pack of rampaging bulls to take a gratuitous selfie at the annual Pamplona Running of the Bulls festival.

Rene Schoof Hones Ability to Use Thumb as Shoehorn By Stefan Kholbear

Rene Schoof has spent much of his life wearing shoes. Many of these fruitless years have been spent putting shoes on the “proper” way--tying and untying laces whenever circumstances prescribed shoelessness or shodden feet. All this changed when Rene stumbled upon an innovative dressing technique that has revolutionized his shoe-wearing lifestyle.

Rene Schoof Discovers Small Fortune Hidden in Old Couch By Dean Rathler

When Rene Schoof brought home an old couch from the Salvation Army, he had no idea that it was filled with hidden treasure.

Fortune Cookie’s Lucky Numbers Help Rene Schoof Remember an Important Date By Johanne Stewart

While enjoying a nutritious and authentic Sichuan dinner at his local Panda Express Gourmet Chinese franchise, Rene Schoof stumbled upon a truly fortuitous fortune cookie.

Rene Schoof Unmasked as Vigilante Ninja Warrior By Rufus Mordox

Rene Schoof, trained in all kinds of deadly martial arts, has been unmasked as a vigilante ninja warrior who has been terrorizing criminals on the streets for years.

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