World’s Best Driver Discovered: Hans Mopf’s Life in the Fast Lane

By Dean Rathler

Racing fans brace yourselves for a sharp left. For years there has been little crossover between daily commuters and professional race car drivers. Never before has a contractual bidding war erupted between racing teams for an essentially unknown driver. That changes today as several top racing circuits are scheduled to each make offers to Mr. Hans Mopf, who has recently been identified as a world-class driver. Unbeknownst to him, Hans Mopf’s driving had been monitored by an OnStar efficiency tracking program intended to improve travel efficiency by analyzing GPS satellite data for OnStar drivers. A problem emerged however, when one...

Hans Mopf Handcuffed by Cabin Crew After Joining Mile High Club By Stefan Kholbear

Hans Mopf’s long-distance flight turned far more kinky than he could have imagined after he was unexpectedly solicited to join the mile high club.

After 15 Years of Involuntary Whistling, Hans Mopf Gets a Second Wind By Rufus Mordox

Who knew being a whistle-blower could be such a pain? Ask Hans Mopf, who is finally able to breathe and sleep peacefully after having surgery to remove a whistle he swallowed 15 years ago.

Hans Mopf Seeks Refund For his Broken Scientology E-Meter By David Baruchs

The good, bad and ugly aspects of Scientology were brought out of the shadows and into the spotlight when Hans Mopf filed a lawsuit seeking a refund of tens of thousands of dollars he had paid to the Church of Scientology.

Hans Mopf Patents New Medical Device to Make People Johnny Cash Fans By Johanne Stewart

Johnny Cash was a fabulous singer, but is it ethical to be brainwashed into liking all of his music? Hans Mopf, who accidently invented a medical implant device that makes people rabid fans of Johnny Cash, thinks there’s nothing wrong with bioengineering music appreciation.

Backyard Interrupted: How Hans Mopf came to live on a nature preserve By Edward I. Cibula

An unusual nest sparks a series of changes for a homeowner and neighborhood.

Replycalypse! Hans Mopf Demonstrates the Perils of Clicking Send Before Thinking By Johanne Stewart

Hans Mopf proved that you need to think twice before clicking send after undergoing a rather public humiliation during an episode the internet has termed Replycalpyse.

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