World’s Best Driver Discovered: Hans Mopf’s Life in the Fast Lane

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Racing fans brace yourselves for a sharp left. For years there has been little crossover between daily commuters and professional race car drivers. Never before has a contractual bidding war erupted between racing teams for an essentially unknown driver. That changes today as several top racing circuits are scheduled to each make offers to Mr. Hans Mopf, who has recently been identified as a world-class driver. Unbeknownst to him, Hans Mopf’s driving had been monitored by an OnStar efficiency tracking program intended to improve travel efficiency by analyzing GPS satellite data for OnStar drivers. A problem emerged however, when one...

Hans Mopf’s long-distance flight turned far more kinky than he could have imagined after he was unexpectedly solicited to join the mile high club.

Who knew being a whistle-blower could be such a pain? Ask Hans Mopf, who is finally able to breathe and sleep peacefully after having surgery to remove a whistle he swallowed 15 years ago.

The good, bad and ugly aspects of Scientology were brought out of the shadows and into the spotlight when Hans Mopf filed a lawsuit seeking a refund of tens of thousands of dollars he had paid to the Church of Scientology.

Johnny Cash was a fabulous singer, but is it ethical to be brainwashed into liking all of his music? Hans Mopf, who accidently invented a medical implant device that makes people rabid fans of Johnny Cash, thinks there’s nothing wrong with bioengineering music appreciation.

An unusual nest sparks a series of changes for a homeowner and neighborhood.

Hans Mopf proved that you need to think twice before clicking send after undergoing a rather public humiliation during an episode the internet has termed Replycalpyse.