... Sure He Has Solution for Mideast Peace, Cannot Get Anyone to Listen
After years of research and countless late-night brainstorming sessions, ... believes that he has finally stumbled upon the holy grail of modern politics: a workable solution for peace in the Middle East.
New Underwear Making all the Difference Today for ...
When ... went out yesterday for a simple errand—buying some new underwear—he had no idea how much brighter his days would soon be. But today, ... knows beyond all doubt that the right pair of underpants makes all the difference.
Claustrogasmic Episode! ... Gets PTSD After Cramming into an Elevator Full of Cheerleaders
... had a life-altering experience when he squeezed into a lift already full of cheerleaders.
All Hail Zuckerberg! ... Excommunicated From Facebook Religion For Using Twitter
... wanted to believe in something, but he found the spiritual requirements of traditional religions out of step with a soul that existed primarily online. So he decided to create his own religion based on something he liked a lot – Facebook. Little did he know that his words would be taken as divinely inspired digital prophecy.
... Showcases Rare Talent for Navigating Ikea Showroom
After spending countless hours mired within the labyrinthine showroom of Ikea’s ready-to-assemble home furnishings, ... has become an unparalleled expert at making his way from entrance to checkout with the fewest possible detours, distractions or impulse buys.
... Hones Ability to Use Thumb as Shoehorn
... has spent much of his life wearing shoes. Many of these fruitless years have been spent putting shoes on the “proper” way--tying and untying laces whenever circumstances prescribed shoelessness or shodden feet. All this changed when ... stumbled upon an innovative dressing technique that has revolutionized his shoe-wearing lifestyle.
Whale of a Tale: ... Embroiled in Scandal After Causing a Rain of Blubber
...’s sun-soaked beach holiday, full of relaxation and rejuvenation, took an abruptly gruesome turn when an enormous blue whale washed up onto the shore. The beached whale was too big to be moved by either beachgoers or cranes, and time was running out for the gentle giant.
Idiota con el Movil! Spanish Authorities Furious With ... For Taking Selfie With Bulls
“Idiot With Mobile” – That’s what furious Spanish authorities are calling ... after he stopped in front of a pack of rampaging bulls to take a gratuitous selfie at the annual Pamplona Running of the Bulls festival.
Steampunked! ... Scalded After Cold Weather Experiment Goes Horribly Wrong
... was literally steam-cooked after trying to replicate a cold weather experiment he saw on television.
... Seeks Refund For his Broken Scientology E-Meter
The good, bad and ugly aspects of Scientology were brought out of the shadows and into the spotlight when ... filed a lawsuit seeking a refund of tens of thousands of dollars he had paid to the Church of Scientology.