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New Species Found: Novosphingobium ...ensis Identified in Refrigerator Leftovers
Bacteriologists have confirmed that the greenish fluffy-white growth on Mr. ...’s five-week old pasta leftovers is indeed a new mutant species, dubbed Novosphingobium ...ensis.
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... Patents New Medical Device to Make People Johnny Cash Fans
Johnny Cash was a fabulous singer, but is it ethical to be brainwashed into liking all of his music? ..., who accidently invented a medical implant device that makes people rabid fans of Johnny Cash, thinks there’s nothing wrong with bioengineering music appreciation.
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Social Media Moodgate! ...’s Mood Manipulator App Scandal Rocks Facebook
Facebook management is desperately trying to tamp down a scandal after allowing users’ moods to be controlled by an app called Moody.
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Just Shoot Me Now! ... in Trouble For Shooting Cow While Trying to Rescue It
The life of do-gooders is never easy, because no good deed goes unpunished. ... found this out the hard way when he ended up having to shoot a cow he was trying to save, and was rewarded for his efforts with a criminal complaint of animal cruelty.
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Replycalypse! ... Demonstrates the Perils of Clicking Send Before Thinking
... proved that you need to think twice before clicking send after undergoing a rather public humiliation during an episode the internet has termed Replycalpyse.
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Born Again? ... Freed by Firemen After Being Trapped Inside Vagina
A team of two dozen firemen-turned-midwives worked all night yesterday to free ... from the death grip of a vagina that refused to let his go. The spectacle of ... emerging from a tight spot was broadcast by local news crews to a shocked and dumbfounded public, images of which have since gone viral online.
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Bowel Bacteria Miracle! Hospital Mired in Ethical Scandal After Delivering ... a Life-saving Fecal Brain Injection
... was your everyday nobody, toiling fruitlessly away at life, until he ended up in the hospital as a guinea pig for specialist doctors trying a bold experimental intervention.
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Laptopalooza! A Broken Laptop and ...’s Dirty Celebrity Pics Trigger a Free Speech Debate
How does a broken laptop end up as the cause of a raging worldwide debate over Internet free speech rights? Ask ..., who triggered off a global hunt to stop unauthorized distribution of his pictures after they were posted online by computer repair Geek Squad employees.
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Empire Strikes Back! Star Wars Stormtrooper ... Triggers Panic and Shuts Down the Town
... was walking down main street dressed up as a stormtrooper, but to bystanders lacking Star Wars cultural literacy, all they was a kook with what looked like a gun. The rest, as they say, is history.
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Fortune Cookie’s Lucky Numbers Help ... Remember an Important Date
While enjoying a nutritious and authentic Sichuan dinner at his local Panda Express Gourmet Chinese franchise, ... stumbled upon a truly fortuitous fortune cookie.
