New Species Found: Novosphingobium ...ensis Identified in Refrigerator Leftovers
Bacteriologists have confirmed that the greenish fluffy-white growth on Mr. ...’s five-week old pasta leftovers is indeed a new mutant species, dubbed Novosphingobium ...ensis.
... Patents New Medical Device to Make People Johnny Cash Fans
Johnny Cash was a fabulous singer, but is it ethical to be brainwashed into liking all of his music? ..., who accidently invented a medical implant device that makes people rabid fans of Johnny Cash, thinks there’s nothing wrong with bioengineering music appreciation.
Social Media Moodgate! ...’s Mood Manipulator App Scandal Rocks Facebook
Facebook management is desperately trying to tamp down a scandal after allowing users’ moods to be controlled by an app called Moody.
Just Shoot Me Now! ... in Trouble For Shooting Cow While Trying to Rescue It
The life of do-gooders is never easy, because no good deed goes unpunished. ... found this out the hard way when he ended up having to shoot a cow he was trying to save, and was rewarded for his efforts with a criminal complaint of animal cruelty.
Replycalypse! ... Demonstrates the Perils of Clicking Send Before Thinking
... proved that you need to think twice before clicking send after undergoing a rather public humiliation during an episode the internet has termed Replycalpyse.
Born Again? ... Freed by Firemen After Being Trapped Inside Vagina
A team of two dozen firemen-turned-midwives worked all night yesterday to free ... from the death grip of a vagina that refused to let his go. The spectacle of ... emerging from a tight spot was broadcast by local news crews to a shocked and dumbfounded public, images of which have since gone viral online.
Bowel Bacteria Miracle! Hospital Mired in Ethical Scandal After Delivering ... a Life-saving Fecal Brain Injection
... was your everyday nobody, toiling fruitlessly away at life, until he ended up in the hospital as a guinea pig for specialist doctors trying a bold experimental intervention.
Laptopalooza! A Broken Laptop and ...’s Dirty Celebrity Pics Trigger a Free Speech Debate
How does a broken laptop end up as the cause of a raging worldwide debate over Internet free speech rights? Ask ..., who triggered off a global hunt to stop unauthorized distribution of his pictures after they were posted online by computer repair Geek Squad employees.
Empire Strikes Back! Star Wars Stormtrooper ... Triggers Panic and Shuts Down the Town
... was walking down main street dressed up as a stormtrooper, but to bystanders lacking Star Wars cultural literacy, all they was a kook with what looked like a gun. The rest, as they say, is history.
Fortune Cookie’s Lucky Numbers Help ... Remember an Important Date
While enjoying a nutritious and authentic Sichuan dinner at his local Panda Express Gourmet Chinese franchise, ... stumbled upon a truly fortuitous fortune cookie.