When ... went out yesterday for a simple errand—buying some new underwear—he had no idea how much brighter his days would soon be. But today, ... knows beyond all doubt that the right pair of underpants makes all the difference.

“I wasn’t looking for a life change,” says ..., “I just needed to replace my worn-out old pair. They had developed too many holes.” As with countless past underwear runs, ... had nothing special in mind when he entered the local shopping mall: “At first, I was just after an economy pack. Plain white cotton. No bells or whistles. Just a little something to stand between my man parts and the rest of the world.” Upon arriving at the underwear section of the big department store, however, ... was struck by the multitude of undergarment options available.

Seeing ...’s predicament of indecision in the face of such variety, department store employee Jaime Fuller stepped in to provide some guidance. According to Fuller, “This is really common. Folks come in thinking they’ll just buy what’s available, but the selection is mind-boggling.” When asked what sort of advice he gives his customers, Fuller said, “I’ve been up-selling, because the quality of cloth in which we swaddle our privates is no small consideration, and deserves more of everyone’s time, attention, and money.” ..., having been persuaded by Fuller’s pitch, took the big leap and bought underpants a full 4 times as expensive as those available in the economy pack, a decision that has created positive change in ...’s life.

...’s friends have noticed the change, without being able to identify the cause. One friend said, “... has a real pep in his step today. I’ve never seen him so confident. Did he get laid or something?” When asked to talk about how his life has changed since his change of underwear, ... said “for a long time, I was living entirely in a world of appearances. I had forgotten to consider the importance of what lies underneath all of it, failed to recognize that what matters more to me is something that no one here can see, but that I can feel intimately.” With a big thumbs-up and a wink, ... whispered, “I am loving these new undies.”